"Overboard" is more like "Over-bored."
A remake of the fondly remembered 1987 Goldie Hawn-Kurt Russell caper comedy, the new "Overboard" can't come close to the screwball charm and charisma of the original.
The plot -- a con artist tricks a wealthy aristocrat with amnesia into a life of domestic servitude -- was dumb in the 80s, and is even more idiotic and ruthlessly creepy now. The plotline is one of many 80s standbys that technological advancements such as the cell phone and internet have rendered moot. The movie, set in modern times, pretends that the victim can't just Google himself and end the film instantly.
Inexplicably going on for nearly two hours, the remake leaves capable maroons Anna Faris without a capable supporting cast or script to work with.
Faris plays Kate, a widow with three children who juggles several jobs while working toward a nursing degree. When wealthy playboy Leo (Eugenio Derbez) hires, mocks and fire her, she burns for revenge. The idiotic plot provides the opportunity when he falls off his yacht and washes ashore with amnesia.
Kate decides to forge documents that convince him he's her husband, and he dutifully moves in and falls in line with Kate's demands that he take over household duties.
Director Rob Greenberg aims for fish-out-of water sight gags, with Leo bungling things up in the kitchen and in his new job as a construction day laborer. The chuckles are far outweighed by groans.
Stupid comedies are often among the funniest, but "Overboard" is just painful and mean.
The conceit boils down to Kate turning a kindly Leo into his slave. Any gleeful comeuppance fades away quickly, yet Kate proceeds with the trickery in order to exploit him for free maid service and child care. To put him in his place, she taps him on the nose and with a dismissive "boop!"
Watching a nice character continue to be punished and exploited by an increasingly lecherous protagonist makes the gags more squirm-inducing than funny.
The drudgery doesn't even let up when the end credits roll. As you make your walk of shame out of the theater, you're made to pause to suffer through a mid-credits sequence filled with a smattering of scenes so bad they weren't worthy of making the cut. A sullen, unfunny movie somehow manages to get worse after it ends.
It's the film's way of tapping you on the nose one last time.
RATING: 1.5 stars out of 4.