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Bachelorette Recap Unicorns really do exist!

Posted at 12:18 PM, May 24, 2016
and last updated 2016-05-24 15:44:05-04
The new season of the Bachelorette kicked off Monday with Jojo now in the driver’s seat after her heart was broken by Ben last season.   But Jojo says she learned a lot and now it’s her turn to really find love! 
 
Here are the guys that stood out to me….for different reasons! 
 
Jordon, the “former NFL quarter back and brother of Green Bay Packer’s quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Though in asking some of my friends that know football players names well, no one seems to really know who Jordon is….just sayin’! #Front runner
 
There is also Evan, an erectile dysfunction clinic owner. And he kept saying stuff like “I gotta pump up my guys, get ‘em excited” and “it’s a hard business”.  WOW! 
 
We have a “luxury real estate agent”, Chad, who right from the start I get bad vibe from him.  He’s pretty full of himself and basically smacked talked all night to the camera about all the other guys and whined a lot! He’s gonna be bad news this season! #Douchbag
 
Then a guy wearing a kilt gets out the limo! I give him bravery points.  Johnathan says he’s half Chinese, half Scottish but thankfully it’s he’s lower part that is “Scottish” Uhhh ok! #realmenwearkilts
 
 
SANTA!! Yep, Saint Nick himself came out of the limo with gifts for Jojo! Instead of OH OH OH, he kept saying JO JO JO…..it was cute at first but dude, #Overkill! 
 
We meet Wells next, a radio DJ, who brought the guys from All 4 One with him to sing for Jojo! Nice move man!!
 
 
Then we see a white horse no wait, it’s a UNICORN! They do exist! (If you remember, Jojo came out of the limo last season, wearing a Unicorn mask for Ben).  It was riden by Luke, a war vet from Texas who works on a ranch, a real cowboy who seems really genuine and sweet! And CUTE! He’s one I’m gonna watch out for! #Frontrunner
 
Let the party and drinking begin! Yes of course, the drinks were flowing and a couple of the guys got pretty drunk! Especially, Daniel from Canada who for some reason thought it was funny to just randomly poke another guy’s belly button.  #Bellybuttonpusher
 
Daniel then decided to strip down to his male underwear and show off his body and jump in the pool.  When he talked to Jojo, he really made no sense yet she gave him a rose in the end?! 
Then, Jojo was sitting in the “diary room” Daniel comes barging in and seems oblivious that he wasn’t supposed to be there! He leaves, then another drunk guy comes in who I don’t even remember his name. Yeah, he didn’t make the cut so it doesn’t matter anyway! 
 
After that, Jojo decides to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what she wants for Christmas.  She is very flirty with not just him but many of the guys! 
 
But, did she kiss anyone?  Who got the 1st impression rose?? Yes, she did kiss a guy and he got the 1st impression rose.  That must have been some kiss.  Despite her having some connections right away with a couple of guys, it was Jordon who came back for a kiss and who got the 1st impression rose! I have picked him to be in the final 2!
 
Then at the rose ceremony, we see a limo pull up and a guy gets out.  As Jojo is about to announce the first name, in walks JAKE, remember Jake from both the Bachelor and Bachelor Pad! I literally yelled out EEEEEWWWWWW!!! I guess he’s an old family friend and he started to talk like he wanted to find love with her.  Jojo’s face was priceless.  Until he said he wants to find love for her and was just there to give her some advice.  PHEW!! 
 
Now, here are some of my random observations of last night….
What was with all the way too tight jeans the guys were wearing?!? 
Is high waters a thing now with guys? Is it cause they wanted to show off their funky socks? 
What is with all the “brown shoes” they guys were wearing?  Again, is that a new fashion thing?
 
Then there are some of the introduction lines…..
The fireman who says he hopes Jojo “lights my fire” 
Jordon -“I’m hoping I will be Jojo’s #1 draft choice.”  ARE YOU SERIOUS!
Sal – “You can play with my balls anytime” in regards to the 2 blue balls he gave Jojo
Evan – “There is ABSOULTETLY no reason in life to push another man’s belly button” – in regards to drunk Daniel randomly pushing Evan’s belly button. 
 
And another observation you might wanna go back and watch, right after Jojo leaves the room to decide who is going home, the camera goes to Evan on the couch and if you look behind him, the kilt guy is ummm adjusting or scratching himself! 
 
 
My picks for the final 2? Jordon and Luke! I do think that Chad will get way too far and cause lots of issues! It’s gonna be a rollercoaster season but yes, I DO accept this rose!
#Groovelife #Doyouacceptthisrose #bachelornation
 
Question of the week….what opening line would you say to the bachelor or bachelorette?